But on top of everything, guess what..? Miraculously, I'm yet to freak out. Yes, that's true. I'm behaving as if these exams are just some insignificant semesterly tests or something. Not that I'm bragging or anything. I myself am still wondering what is wrong with me. I want to freak out. I want to feel the anxiety. This is just wrong. Something is not right... Or is it..? Somehow I'm having this inexplicable calmness. A complete serenity. Weird eh..? I still vividly remember how crazily freaked out I was 2 years back, when I was in my first year. I actually cried in vain, wholeheartedly hoping for a divine intervention or something. Oh, or at least that Doraemon's magical loaf of bread! Do you guys remember that..?? Come on..! The one which you paste on a book or something, than you eat it and voila! You will remember every single thing written on the book! Oh how I wish I had that during that particularly critical moment. Ok, I'll stop the gibberish now.
I freaked out as well when I was in my second year. Yep, I surely did! Not as bad as that of my 1st year though. So this year, I'm particularly baffled with what is happening to me. Like I just could not careless. To say that I'm fully prepared, that's just, *pftt* nonsense. Honestly, there are still a lot of things I haven't covered. More the reasons why I am stumped with my freakingout-less. Uuhhmmm...
At this moment of time, one particular verse from the Quran keeps crossing my mind...
"If you do not aid the Prophet - Allah has already aided him when those who disbelieved had driven him out [of Makkah] as one of two, when they were in the cave and he said to his companion, "Do not grieve; indeed Allah is with us." And Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."
Pay particular attention on the part where Allah says, "And Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him..." Haha, before you hastily jump into any conclusion, let me just tell you, I am in no way suggesting that I am special enough to be granted this honour; sakinah, tranquility, from Allah. But, well, it might be that for some unknown and ambiguous reasons, Allah may have bestowed me with this sakinah so that I can devote more of my energy, my time and my mind for more important stuff...? Say, like dakwah and tarbiyyah..? No? Just may be. A very likely maybe. =)
Well, I haven't got anything else to babble at the moment. Just would like to wish anyone who is struggling and striving for the exams out there, all the best..! And if you really understand the true underlying reason why you are doing this, Insha-Allah, you will be just fine. Have faith in Allah's plan for you. He, who Owns and who has created every single thing on this universe should know best after all. ;) Chill out man!
O Allah! Help all of us as You wish!