26 July 2008

Twenty One

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful.

All praises be upon Him, the Lord of the Worlds, the ONLY god worth worshiping. Thank you God, for everything.

Today, on the 26th July 2008, I officially turn 21. Well, according to the solar calendar of course. Weird enough, for me at least, I don't feel anything special about it. Honest. Though I'm lying if i were to tell you that i was not anticipating it at all. I did. But as the the clock struck 12 last night, I was like, "That's it...?" I guess I was expecting a fairy godmother or a genie to suddenly appear and to grant me 3 wishes... In my dream.

But of course, a lot has happened for the past 21 years. Not that I can remember much of the first three years of my life. For many, the number 21 may mean a lot to them. I mean, hallo, rite?? 21 is a passport to a new world. 21 is the license to do all the weird stuff in the world. And 21, well, sounds old to me. Hey, I am an eligible voter now! Ahah!

Interestingly though, I don't feel like celebrating. I am not enjoying myself indeed, turning 21. Nothing much has changed. Physically, hahaha, I might have gained some weight. Although I'm still living in denial! Boohoo! Emotionally, nothing much. Financially, well, I'm not working. Still depending on my parents. So yeah, I am still myself. The same old myself. =)

Well, there is actually a main reason why my 21st birthday is probably the worst. But I'm not gonna share it. I'm sorry, it's rather personal. It's gloomy out there, as if the world shares my misery and frustration. I sure hope it does!

Looking back, I am deeply ashamed of myself. *sigh* I ask myself, after 21 years in this life, what have I done to help my fellow Muslims? Have I ever contributed to the betterment of my beloved religion? What have I achieved so far, to prove my claim that I am a true Muslim?? Am I not embarrassed by Usamah bin Ziyad, who at a very young age was given the honour to lead the Muslim's army against the Rome? Do I not feel inferior by Muhammad al-Fatih, who was younger than myself now when he led the glorious Muslims conquering Constantinople? Am I not mad and sad at myself, who fail to follow the example left by Imam as-Shafie, who managed to memorize the Kitabul Karim even long before he was an adolescent??

Forgive me God, if I have failed You. Forgive me God, if I have wasted my youth. Forgive me God, if I have frustrated You in any way... Astaghfirullahal adzim. Astaghfirullahal adzim. Astaghfirullahal adzim...

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everybody for a wonderful life I have gone through. First and foremost, thank you Allah, for letting me to live up my life, til the 21st year. May years ahead will be guided and assisted by your hidayah and rahmah, Insha-Allah. Second, thank you Rasulullah p.b.uh., his companions and tabi' wal tabiin, for their endless and tireless efforts of spreading the light of God, which without them, I doubt I would be enjoying the two main nikmat; Islam and Iman on my 21st birthday. Then, I thank my parents, who by the permission of Allah, 21 years ago, had produced me. Hehehe, I know that sounds wrong. But yeah, thank you mama and papa. Without your unconditional love and care, I wouldn't be who I am today. Last but not least, teachers and friends, who have always been there for me, when I needed all of you most. Who have made my 21 years in this life more colourful and vibrant. Who have helped me during the hardest perios odf my life, and share my tears and laughs. Thank you. =)

Well, I am no longer a little boy now. Come to think about it, some of my friends at this age are already getting married! Creepy huh? I have a lot of responsibilities ahead. And I sure hope I'll be able to handle them, and deliver with the purest heart! Lets pray my 21st year in this world will be full with wonderful colours of life of a mu'min, Insha-Allah. Amin.


2 Caci Maki Puji Muji:

N I K 26/07/2008, 22:48  

Eh, Sudah 21 ye? Makin kurang masa untuk beramal.

Alangkah ngerinye kalau umur dikire secara CountDown!

Ape jadi enche Gabbana? Sedey semacam je.

Tak perlu sebak2. Lagi setahun makin hampir untuk meninggalkan penjara dunia.

Alangkah bagusnya kalau umur dikire secara CountDown!

Inche gabbana 27/07/2008, 01:22  

Sedih sebab rasa amalan untuk meninggalkan penjara dunia jauh daripada mencukupi.. sangat jauh. Tanyalah diri kita wahai akh hazwan, tatkala Sultan Muhammadl-Fatih dan Usamah bin Ziyad memimpin bala tentera muslimin dan mukminin di kala usia yang masih muda, apakah sumbangan kita kepada agama??

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"Sesungguhnya Allah membeli dari orang-orang mukmin, baik diri mahupun harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga kepada mereka. Mereka berperang di jalan Allah; sehingga mereka membunuh atau terbunuh...

Maka bergembiralah dengan jual beli yang telah kamu lakukan itu, dan demikian itulah kemenangan yang Agung."

-At Taubah, 9:111

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