I'll be leaving for Malaysia, tomorrow at 12.00pm. Insha-allah, God permits, I'll arrive at KLIA on the next day around 7.30am.
As I am writing this, mix feelings of joy and sad, melancholy and glad overwhelm myself. Yes, you who are reading this outside there might think I am just being ridiculous and over the top. After all, I still have 2 more years to go before I'll be graduating! (Insha-allah...) But no, this is not a complete absurdity. In fact, I think this post is justified. I'll explain why.
While it is true that it has not been even a year since I left Malaysia for my further education, this is my first time being so far away from my beloved ones for so long. Although homesickness is the thing of the past, I did miss my family and those who I care and treasure so much back in Malaysia. I am a city boy, who has a close-knitted family. I am not embarrassed to admit that I am especially manja with my mum. ;) Hence, the idea of coming back, meeting my family, my cat, my friends, eating all time favourite nasi lemak and koay teow really sparks the unbearable excitement in myself, long before I even bought my flight ticket...! Hehehe..
Yet, leaving London has this intrinsic emotional value. I don't know how to explain, but those who have experienced this, you know, this inexplicable sad feeling when you put all your belongings into baggages and boxes, should understand what I am trying to say. I have always been longing to travel to Europe especially the United Kingdom. I do not come from a wealthy family, therefore it is not until I was offered the scholarship to further my studies in the UK that I finally got the opportunity to explore the European regions. Alhamdulillah, all praises be upon Him... London has indeed taught me a lot of things. My first year in London has captured all sort of excitements and tribulations. For the first time in my life, I am living on my own, independent and far away from my family. (C'mon... Asrama can't be taken into account, can it?? You don't cook, buy groceries and do laundry yourself, do you?). I learned how to spend wisely, how to manage time more carefully (hallo?? during winter, Isya' was like at 5 pm and now it's like 11.30..? Does that ring a bell?? ;p), how to cook sedap-fully, hehehe, and of course, how to befriend people whom you could have never imagined before that you would come across. It is enough for me to say here I have learned a lot. I am now a different man indeed.
Yes, I still have a long journey ahead. In fact, I can't say, I can't tell what lies ahead for me. Future in uncertain. But one thing I am very sure of, I am grateful for what I have gone through for the past 9 months. Thank you Allah, thank you...
And to all my friends, I can't thank all of you more, for making my life more meaningful and interesting for the past months.
To Hamid, thank you for being the closest friend, the fact that I barely knew you back in college. Thank you for being my imam/makmum and if not for that, I must have wasted a lot of of 27 darjah for every salaah time. I have learned a lot from you and you have taught me a lot of things. And you have helped me when I needed assistance. We had differences and I sincerely apologise for all my wrongdoings and sayings that might have hurt you.
To Rudzy, thank you. =) We lepak a lot during the first term as you didn't get your kitchen yet! Hahaha.. That was fun. You are quite a character indeed. I got to know you a lot better in the past 9 months, compared to two years in college. You were there, always listening when I needed someone to talk to. I really really sayang you... *blushing* Thank you for everything.
To Aqil, you are my first and only Singaporean friend I have had (Ok, note that I said friend, not an affiliate or kenalan..). You are cool, knowledgeable, full with experiences and all these have taught me to be a better person. Traveling with you was indeed an adventurous and memorable experience. Thank you for the money you lent, the time you spent with me and Hamid and and the, er, not-so-effective study group! Hahaha.. Cheers man!
To all my girlfriends; Mek, Ija, Didi, Aiza, Dalila, Zata, Zakiyyah and Iman, I don't exactly know how to thank you girls. Thanx Mek for the magnificent delicacies and all the politics-economics talks we had. Those were fun. Thanx Ija for always being patient whenever I nagged you asking this and that. Thanx for being ever willing to join my ISOC's dinner team! To Didi, Aiza, Dalila, Zata and Iman, I can't say I know you girls that much. But one thing for sure, my life has been a hell lot more interesting knowing and living with you lot here in London. And to Zakiyyah, like Aqil, you are the first Bruneian I got to know. Not the only one though... ;) You are indeed a fun and bubbly friend. I will always love your shoes... Hihihi~
To Roslan, Waqi and Hazwan, masha-allah, jazakumullah khair. Thank you so much for everything. Knowing people like you guys has indeed 'saved' me, Insha-Allah. I apologise if there were any moment or time for the past months I have known you guys, I ever frustrated or hurt anyone of you in anyway. Wallahi, it was never my intention to let any of you down or feel upset and devastated. Whatever it is, I am looking forward to work with all of you. May Allah make our efforts easier and we ask for His guidance and protection, Insha-Allah. Thank you for everything.
To all my other London friends; Amirul, Syat, Zharif, Apak, Faris, Dann, Adam Tan, Jau, Ammar, Azman and whoever else whom somehow I can't remember to write your name down, hehe, thank you. Only Allah is the rightful ONE to repay all the kindness and compassion you guys have poured on me.
To all my friends, I love all of you. It has been a awesomely wonderful experience, to be given the chance by HIM, to know all of you! Subhanallah... You guys rock! ;) Please, pardon me for all my wrongdoings and sayings because I know, I can be a pain in the ass sometimes and that hurts. But wallahi, I didn't consciously and intentionally do all those dreadful things. Halalkan makan minum, salah silap and all the bad things I have done to you. May my first year in London is indeed, full with barakah, Insha-Allah.
If I were to regret a few things that I could have done for the past months, those would be my failure to contribute more to the society/community and my inability to befriend more international people. But like I said, I am full with gratitudes and thus, there is nothing to regret about. I still have two years ahead Insha-Allah (probably more, who knows I might be working here after graduation? ;O) and that translates to a hell lot more of interesting and exciting experiences!
Adios~
-gabbana-