6 October 2013

Here Come The Baldis!

This is cute. ;) [Credit]

I guess it's not easy to be a female. Especially a Muslimah. And on top of that, a Muslimah that is trying hard to protect her dignity and self-respect. 

First, you have to bear with all the labelings; hijabis, niqabis, tundung-labuhbis, jubahbis and so on. I don't understand. I thought covering the hair, which is part of protecting a female's aurah, is compulsory to all? So why the labeling? Pft. 

As Ustaz Azhar Idrus once notoriously said, it's not about covering yourself with hijab, but it's all about protecting your modesty (aurah); to the point that it's even okay if you want to cover yourself with a baldi! Should I label you girls as the baldis then..?? Wahahaha.

Second, the expectations towards these Muslimahs are just outrageous. I mean, you are expected to guard your modesty, when the whole world is going naked and crazy. Ok I'm exaggerating. But you know what I'm saying. Then you are expected to be kind to others, to lead by example, to know everything by heart, to be clever and witty, to be able to respect others, to know how to cook ayam masak merah, to be a perfect wife  and yada yada yada. 

Sounds like an angel to me. 

I mean honestly, how could these muslimah cope with the pressure that comes with all those expectations? It's mind blowing. And to make things even worse, now you have this feminism thing that is really destroying the whole foundation of being a woman. Feminism, to a certain extent, propagates that men and women are the same. They need to be treated equally and be given the same level of playing field.

I don't have any problem with that. But what really bothers me is when women are trying hard to be men, just so that they survive in this ever competitive world. You know, things like whatever men are capable of doing, so are the women. So if men can climb coconut tree, so do women. If men can fight with the crocodiles, so do women. If men can change a punctured tire, so do women. 

Really, do you girls want to be like us, men, that badly..?  

(Don't get me wrong, ladies. You can do all that if you really want to. But please put yourself in the right shoes.)

Then that's not fair. Because we, men, will never be able to be reach a stage where we are on the same plateau with women. We couldn't give birth. We couldn't breast feed our own kids. Heaven will never be at our sole. The hadith that says one should respect his mom more than his dad, well, you tell me, how would that make us feel? 

In reality, Allah has created men and women different. And that's intentional. If Allah wants to create men and women the same, there was no need for Him to create Eve in the first place. But He did. Because Eve completed Adam. Women complete men; not to compete with them.

"The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what s right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."
[at-Taubah, 9:71]

You see, Allah purposely differentiates men and women, and Allah has put them on the same field. They are not to compete against each other but rather, they are allies! Allah has created both men and women to be the rightful khalifah of this world. Hence, they need to help each other because they are just different, simply different. Men can do things that women could not, and vice-versa. 

Muslimah need to empower themselves with whatever Allah has bestowed upon them. You are special. Islam has alleviated the status of women, to the level that it is easier for them to enter jannah as compared to men. If she's married, she just needs to be a loyal servant to Allah and an obedient wife to her husband and voila! The paradise is hers. 

How unfair is that...??

So please my sisters and mothers and makciks out there, please stop lamenting about how unjust is the world to you. And how Islam is being unfair to you. We, as a gentleman, are here to help you, to complete you. Ehemmm. So please let us climb the coconut tree, fight with the wolves, repair the car, change the toilet bowl and go to the post office to settle the bills. And yes, do let us cook for you too sometimes. We just need you, to be yourself. Stop pretending to be like us, which you will never be able to do so. 

And please stop labeling yourselves with nonsensical names like hijabistas, niqabistas, gunistas, baldistas and whatever. Just be a muslimah, a rightful and true one, because we really need you to be just that.

You are special because you are. You don't have to be told that.

Smile.

-gabbana-

36 Caci Maki Puji Muji:

Nur Emily 06/10/2013, 22:49  

> And yes, do let us cook for you too sometimes. We just need you, to be yourself.<

is that really what u mean? sure, do cook for us.

RahimaHK 06/10/2013, 22:52  

seindah hiasan adalah wanita solehah :)

al wardah 06/10/2013, 22:54  

baldis then..??

agak kejam bunyinya :B

Anonymous 06/10/2013, 23:03  

Thanks APG for pointing this out. But sometimes, the man didn't do what a man should do so we (woman) have to do it by ourself. Its not about competitive or feminist. Its about being independent. :)

Inche gabbana 06/10/2013, 23:11  

Enonimus: I certainly agree with you. But that's a different story altogether. ;)

AKU KE NI?? 06/10/2013, 23:14  

I,as a woman, agrees with what you have written, especially the part that let the man do the climbing etc.... but in reality, my man (and most men I know) keep neglecting their responsibilies!!!

Anonymous 06/10/2013, 23:14  

In reality, some women have to force themselves to being a mother and father at the same time, not to mention other responsibilities they carry on their backs while some men just don't care and in some worse scenario, they just parasiting on their wives/mothers/etc... Your idea on not to make labels on different ways of covering aurah is right, but to urge women to not to try hard to be men might not apply to the rest of us women. Like I said, some of us have to struggle so hard and we would be sooo lucky if all men in this world have the same opinion like you do - that men should be good leaders of his family, and women are their supportive backbones. But what happen now is we, the backbones, are the one who do everything.

Bintang Suka Cendol 06/10/2013, 23:17  

as in my opinion, what I think I'm capable of, I'd rather choose to do it by myself.. yes, as women, we do have our egos.. so please, don't wait till we ask for your help, do ask us if we need any help and yes, we will let you do it.. because sometimes, we were so afraid to be labelled as 'gediks' or any other words with the same meanings if we ask for your help..yet, the conclusion is, it's not about trying hard to be a man, but it's about egos and afraid to be labelled as gediks and whatever... thank you..

AKU KE NI?? 06/10/2013, 23:18  

So true

Shaoran Hani 06/10/2013, 23:31  

inche gabbana, this is awesome. trust me, I get the gist - the nonsensical labelling muslimah tend to have (even call @ refer themselves as) and all that comes with it as a 'package'. but reading all the comments above, I think most of the women are prone to lament about how they have to be versatile in life - that is, capable of everything - since you included some points about letting all the hard work done by the party responsible *if only most of the men are like that, sob sob*

I think that it is a great idea if you write an entry about how a man should act so that a woman's place is where she should be. It would be nice and beneficial to everybody. But of course, this is just my personal opinion.

Still, I agree with you, a good muslimah don't need all that nonsensical labels to define them. Thumbs up! :)

Nur Emily 06/10/2013, 23:35  

Setuju sgt dgn anonymous , aku ke ni? n bintang suka cendol.

dilabel gedik mengada2 , itu yg paling ditakuti. jadi, nak x nak, kdg2 terpaksa lah buat kerja berat apabila ada lelaki yg sungguh tidak gentlemen bila hanya mampu melihat wanita membuat kerja dan tidak menghiraukannya.

memoirsandreflections 06/10/2013, 23:54  

I agree with u, akh IG, and yes, you got that right. It ain't easy for a woman, as ustaz kazim elias ada ckp dlm salah satu ceramah dia, jadi perempuan tu susah sebab senang je sbnrnya perempuan masuk syurga, taat pada Allah dan suami, terus je boleh masuk mana2 pintu syurga yg dia nak.
And yes, I agree with the comments above, kdg2 the woman hv no choice but to do a man's job, ibu tunggal contohnya.

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 00:04  

I too agree that not being feminist is whatbwe opt for. It is just the wotld we live in needs more responsible mannin order they take care all of the reponsibilities they should do at the first place. I always dream of a day where we women can just sit at home,being a good wife with nothing to do with work, dakwah hebat2... But until the day majority men can do that all day, we will have to go out and take care of what have not being done. Hence, that's why u see us have to cope with being and doing so many things. So please ikhwah, if u guys really trying and willing to help us ease the burden we carry so much, singsing lengan dan sila bina lebih ramai orang yg FAHAM....

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 00:05  

Pmpn nie kengkadg buat keje lelaki bkn sbb dorg nk pun tp sbb lelaki x reti nk g buat keje org lelaki.kengkdg tgk pmpn kne angkat tong gas sbb si lelaki asyik maen game.pmpn jgk la kne buat keje pmpn laen msk, kemas rumah, jage anak etc etc lelaki kluar lepak dgn kengkwn
Sori.emo plak

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 00:23  

Ya, kadang2 kita yg perempuan ni terpaksa jugak buat benda2 berat sendiri. Keadaan.
Nak baiki kereta, baikilah.
Nak masuk F1, masuklah.
Na perjuangkan hak wanita, perjuangkanlah.
Yg jadi masalahnya bila semua benda nak diperjuangkan walaupun kadang2 benda yg tak masuk akal.
Sedangkan ada lagi benda2 mustahak yg perlu diperjuangkan.
Hak terhadap penjagaan aurat diri.
Hak terhadap pembinaan sahsiah peribadi.
Lantang biarlah pd yg sepatutnya

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 00:39  

Kepada Kak Anonymous yg comment seperti di bawah.... Nak high 5 boleh? Sumpah cool.

"I too agree that not being feminist is whatbwe opt for. It is just the wotld we live in needs more responsible mannin order they take care all of the reponsibilities they should do at the first place. I always dream of a day where we women can just sit at home,being a good wife with nothing to do with work, dakwah hebat2... But until the day majority men can do that all day, we will have to go out and take care of what have not being done. Hence, that's why u see us have to cope with being and doing so many things. So please ikhwah, if u guys really trying and willing to help us ease the burden we carry so much, singsing lengan dan sila bina lebih ramai orang yg FAHAM...."

Cik hamba 07/10/2013, 00:40  

Allah tu kan Maha Adil.
Adil tu bukan sama rata tapi meletakkan sesuatu pada tempatnya.
Allah cipta lelaki dgn fungsinya, mcm tu jugak wanita.

Apa-apa pun,
".....Sesungguhnya Aku tidak menyia-nyiakan amal org yg beriman di antara kamu, baik lelaki mahupun perempuan kerana sebahagian kamu adalah (keturunan) dari sebahagian yg lain......"
Ali Imran:195

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 01:26  

I am the first anonymous yang bring up the matter. I am really sorry that I start it. I fell guilty know. (should or shouldn't I fell that way?) But it was my honest opinion.
But don't get me wrong. I still agree with APG's point. I admit that some women do man's work cause they want to be same level as man. To show that woman can do things as same as man. To get into higher level in society.
However, the main reason I pointed that out because I don't want people be stereotype to us ; woman. Because sometimes, we do man's work, because we have to do it. Not because we want to.
I apologize if it seems that I put the blame on men. But, that what I think.
Top of that, thanks APG for your understanding about how hard to carry the expectations from people around us. And thanks for reminding me about how Allah saw elevetes darjat wanita in Islam and Al quran. :)

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 01:28  

salam, tapi kadang2 susah utk seorg girl nk fhmi seorg laki apatah lg nak dakwahi n tarbiyah dye... i feel that bcoz it's very hard 4 me to kamcing dgn adik lelaki yg umur tak jauh berbeza, any idea how i as a sister nak tarbiyah dye, sbb dye anasir tagrir n sngat bpotensi utk sumbang more 4 D n T when he realise n feel tarbiyah...any idea???

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 01:28  

*now

sorry, my bad

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 03:37  

:)

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 05:15  

I had never realized that we are expected to do so many things until you listed them all. I think, its just not me, but you have made a lot of us feel special reading this. U r as good writing in english as u r in bahasa. Please do keep writing to keep us reminded of the things that we often forget, easily dismiss or things that we often give the least of our attention to. For your great effort, I'll pray that Allah blesses you and give you the greatest reward here and in the life after, insyaAllah.

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 10:14  

Hmm such a nice article. Its good that you're pointing this out. However, in reality, it's hard to be implemented. Nowadays, women should or myb must do whatever men are capable of doing.So that we can cope with todays world. Especially for a mother/wife, sometimes she has to play the role as a mother,father, leader and the list goes on. Men and women are created so that they can help each other, together. Sadly some people have a mindset that women has to know everything. Its ok, but we need help and guidance from the men. Thats what we are supposed to be doing.

A Young Lady..

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 13:21  

Cool Mr. Jazakalkahukhair.

Anonymous 07/10/2013, 17:50  

you know what, i happened to witness a woman doing all that her whole life (except fighting wolves and crocodiles la kan..) because of the negligence of her husband... may you bear in mind that sometimes they did all that, because they have to.. and really, no man suffers when woman did all of those.. paling2 pun they will be annoyed.. but women, lots of them, suffered hell because men are not being responsible.. Hope you'll consider putting the focus dlm karya anda strusnya on man's role.. besar lg maslahahnya kpd ummah.. God bless..

Anis Fakhira 07/10/2013, 20:25  

well, can i copy this post ? Feeling like spreading it to my friends

Rayhan 08/10/2013, 15:50  

Ambil masa dan perbaiki. :) insyaAllah.

Anonymous 09/10/2013, 11:44  

I don't think this part is true:

"before a girl reaches puberty, all her sins are borne by her father. Once she is married, her sins are then transferred to her husband!"

Surah al-An-am ayah 164 states otherwise.

Hmm.

Inche gabbana 09/10/2013, 17:21  

You are right. I've done a little research and I couldn't find anything to substantiate my claim.

Therefore, I have deleted that part.

But do bear in mind, a husband will bear his wife's sins if he does not educate her wife to be obedient to Allah, eg. covering her aurah.

Allahu a'lam. Jzkk for your comment and feedback. Appreciate it much!

Anonymous 10/10/2013, 00:01  

sometimes,the situation force us to do so & maybe because of the past experience,we want to be independent.
Really,you want to cook for us?*kening double jerk.

please ignore my tunggang langgang grammar.tenkiu.

Anonymous 10/10/2013, 08:55  

i agreed with most of the above comments. i'm a woman and muslimah too. we're not trying to cmpete or prove we're better or equal to men. But many of us act on demands and necessity. Being independent when there's no man out there to help us with anything. Or do we need to live with irresponsible and lazy guy who has no sense of pity towards a woman. In fact the one who suppose to give protection act violent on his on wife. That's when woman comes out, asking her right, claim to be treated well. If a man has his ego as high as rocky mountain ,a woman has her own ego too but alot lower. She also wants to be independent, doesnt' want to burden her
husband but she needs love and care and also protection. a lot to say but i'd better stop.ehhe okay thanq for the great article. -notcar99 -

anonymous ikhwah 10/10/2013, 14:35  

firstly, i want to apologize because i sound stupid when i write in english. therefore i will continue to write in malay language. wahaha...

secara jujurnya, saya terkesan dengan komen2 para wanita/perempuan/akhwat etc di post ini.

suatu yg perlu dimuhasabahi oleh para lelaki, iaitu ramai di kalangan lelaki yang belum cukup lelaki lagi. (baca: men are not men enough)
muhasabah buat kita semua. T_T

pipah miaw 11/10/2013, 22:07  

kenape baldis x paham

Anonymous 16/10/2013, 17:07  

Nasib baldi kalau tong drum minyak lagi susah wahaha

Fiysha Ricchan 16/10/2013, 20:56  

Sangat smart. Wanita oh muslimah

Anonymous 21/10/2013, 11:41  

Fall liver (baca:jatuh hati ) dgn penulisan inche gabbana...semoga inche dan keluarga dilindungi dan dirahmati Allah sentiasa..amin..

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