4 March 2011

Jom Kita Pengsan Secara Berjamaah!

British gay Muslims seek Islamic weddings
By Adrian Goldberg

British gay Muslims are joining the global fight for equality and seeking gay Islamic marriage. The BBC's 5 live Investigates speaks to one couple about their nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract - and asks how they balance their sexuality with the Islamic faith.

"We met about three years ago, at an iftar - a breaking of fast during Ramadan. 

"I think a lot of Muslims find that time of year very spiritual and very enlightening, and so I think that's why our relationship developed, because we spoke about our faith." 

"Eventually we went on a date."

Asra recalls the first time she met her partner, Sarah, three years ago. The gay couple, who are also Muslim, are one of a growing number of gay, British Muslims who have cemented their relationship with marriage - Islamic marriage. Asra fondly remembers the moment Sarah proposed to her.

"After the first date, which was about an hour, Sarah casually asked me to marry her."

Sarah interjects.

"I think it was more like four hours, after dinner, coffee and walking. I didn't really plan it, but it just really seemed like the way it was between us, I should try and keep it as pure as possible.

"That may sound strange being lesbians, but it felt like we should do it the most honourable way we could."

The Muslim way
Asra and Sarah decided upon a 'nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract. Whilst nikahs have traditionally been the reserve of heterosexual Muslims, Asra and Sarah were aware that other gay Muslims had followed this route and the couple decided to investigate further. 

"A few friends said you don't really have to have an official Imam, but you need someone who is knowledgeable enough about the Qur'an to do it. Fortunately, one of our friends was, and she offered to do it. She's a lesbian herself, and she said we could do it in her home."

Three months after the proposal, the big day came. Asra wore a white shalwar kameez - a traditional Pakistani outfit - and Sarah a pink dress.

"I wanted to wear leather, but Asra wouldn't let me," she sighs.

"We got rings from Camden market, and we drew up contracts - we got a blueprint off the internet of a heterosexual contract and we both looked at it separately, to see if there were things we wanted to change."

"I remember I put about the dog - that if we broke up, Asra wouldn't steal the dog."

Asra rolls her eyes and adds "we also did a dowry, of £5. It was a symbolic thing and we've still got those £5 notes."

In attendance were six friends, who also acted as witnesses - "and a cat," says Sarah.

The short ceremony was conducted in Arabic, and additional duas - prayers - were read and the marriage was essentially no different from the nikahs performed for straight Muslim couples all over the world. There is growing visibility of gay Muslims in Britain, although not all are confident about coming out. But the Islamic faith vehemently rejects homosexuality, and the fact this nikah was for a gay couple is highly offensive to the majority of Muslims - including Asra's own parents.

"It's still very difficult for me to tell my family about my life being a lesbian. They know I am a believer, they know I am religious, but going as far as saying I am a lesbian is quite hard," Asra says.

"I remember thinking this is the only time I am going to get married, and my family weren't there.

"That was constantly going through my mind - I am having an Islamic nikah, doing as much as I can through my faith, but my family weren't there."

However, Sarah's relationship with her family is quite different.

"Because I wasn't born a Muslim - I converted five years ago - I think my family is quite accepting of my sexuality. But sometimes it seems like they are waiting for me to grow out of being a Muslim."

Gay Muslim voices
Sarah and Asra know their marriage is unorthodox, and the idea of a gay nikah would be rejected by the majority of Muslim scholars, but Sarah says it is nobody's business.

"It is between me and God, and when we got married it was not ideal, but we were doing our best."

However, there is a small but growing voice within the Muslim community representing gay people, with the emergence of British gay Muslim support groups such as Imaan and Safra Project.

One of the key advocates of Muslim gay marriage is the American Imam, Daayiee Abdullah (Komentar Inche gabbana: Nama dah Dayie Abdullah dah; Dai'e Hamba Allah. Tapi tak tahulah dia mengajak orang ke mana ni..! -___-") - who himself is gay. He has performed a number of gay nikahs in America and has also advised gay British Muslim couples on how to perform the ceremony.

He reasons that to deny gay Muslim couples the right to a religious union, goes against teachings in the Koran.

Speaking to 5 live Investigates, he says: "Since Islamic legal precedence does not allow same sexes to wed, Muslim societies make it a legal impossibility within Islam [but] by not allowing same-sex couples to wed, there is a direct attack on the Koran's message that each person has a mate who is their 'comfort and their cloak'."

It is not just within the Muslim community that gay Muslim couples such as Sarah and Asra have encountered hostility.

"I feel there's Islamaphobia within the gay community. It's something that really worries me," says Sarah.

Asra recalls a particularly unsavoury incident.

"There was an occasion at gay pride once where one of the marchers turned around and quite crudely said 'we didn't know pride was allowing suicide bombers on the march' - it was really shocking to hear it from a fellow gay marcher."

But according to Sarah, it's not just Muslims who are rejected by the gay community.

"I think there's a deep-rooted assumption in the secular queer community that you can't be gay and believe in anything, apart from yourself or materialism."

However, gay unions are being integrated into wider British society even more - and the government recently announced plans to allow churches in England and Wales to host civil partnership ceremonies. Ministers have pledged greater equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, but said no religious group would be forced to host the ceremonies. The Church of England has said it will not do so. Quakers have welcomed the plans, with support also expected from Unitarians and Liberal Jews. But what about the Muslim community?

"Homosexuality is not considered a halal way of living at the moment, so of course there's going to be an extreme reaction to a gay nikah. So, as a community we have to get tolerance before we can even attempt acceptance of marriage," says Asra.

But she is hopeful for the future.

"I certainly know younger gay Muslims that are out to their families and their families are absolutely fine with it.

"Same-sex nikahs are still a contentious issue, but all I can say is I have done it, and I am completely comfortable and content with my faith and hopefully people will think 'well, let me try and get to that place'.


Point-point yang saya bold dan kaler-merahkan adalah point-point yang apabila saya baca, saya rasa nak pengsan, bangun dan pengsan semula. Kemudian bangun dan pengsan sekali lagi. Peluh besar. 

Pengsaaaannnnnn. [Kredit Gambar]

Komen saya...? Kalau boleh nak cakap dengan gaya diva dan penuh angkuh, "No komen" sebab malu sangat bila baca. Inilah 'Islam' di zaman sekarang ni.

Masyarakat bukan Islam yang tak faham Islam, pastinya akan konpius dan garu kepala. Macam-macam imej dan gambaran yang KITA berikan kepada mereka. Sekejap kata Islam tu agama yang adil dan penuh toleransi. Sekejap lagi pulak cakap Islam tu ganas dan tak berperikemanusiaan. 

Nanti cakap Islam tu tidak menindas, malah menaikkan status dan taraf seseorang manusia. Nanti pulak cakap Islam tu menyeksa dan merendahkan kaum wanita. 

Tadi cakap Islam ni tak pernah berubah sejak zaman Nabi SAW, kekal dan terpelihara. Pas tu cakap pulak yang Islam kena fleksibel, berubah mengikut trend dan zaman so kena tolerate gay, zina dan gaya hidup moden penuh sosial. 

Apa ni dey...?? Cakap berbelit-belit, tak serupa bikin la dey! Hipokrit..! :O

Macam mana nak buat dakwah kat bukan Islam kalau orang Islam sendiri tak faham dan amalkan Islam yang sebenarnya..? Adusss payah payah.

Oh, ini juga cara bagaimana kuffar mahu mengghazwul-fikr-kan (serangan pemikiran) umat Islam. Mereka akan tonjolkan dan popularkan gaya hidup seperti ini seolah-olah ia adalah normal, trend semasa dan bergaya. Dah la berita ni datangnya dari BBC, ynag memang sejak dahulukala lagi terkenal sebagai agen ideologi kuffar zaman-berzaman. Ptuih. (Baru terperasan yang nama penulis berita ni adalah Adrian GOLDBERG. Goldberg tu sah-sahlah nama Yahudi...! Eeerrgghhhh!)

Solusinya? Kembali kepada al-Quran dan as-Sunnah, dan bukannya al-Hawa dan Taghut! 

Jom kita cuci pinggan sama-sama! Sambil mencuci, sambil membersihkan tangan yang kotor..! Fulamaweh©.


Yang semakin pelik dan hairan dengan umat Islam zaman sekarang. Jom berubah dan mengubah!

23 Caci Maki Puji Muji:

arissa myana 04/03/2011, 10:39  

siyes dude, x tau nk curse dulu or mengucap first...mmg boleh buat pengsan scr berjemaah -____-

Astaghfirullah al'Azim...

jzk 4 bringging up the issue. hopefully semakin ramai yg membuka mata, memeriksa semula kefahaman beragama, bukan mengambil contoh jahili pula nt... nauzubillah.
[back to my very own self T__T huu]

Allah hu'Alam

Azlin Azman 04/03/2011, 10:51  

haha, nak pngsan skli.. skg derang fkir islam kena ikut predran zman. n sy da knal sorg laki n sorg prmpuan ni. gul ni dh mcm trbuka hti, dpt hdyah gitu lah, dy nk clash dgn llki ni, dy bg hint, dy ckp, kita bcinta lpas kwen je bole ? skg sy nk bcnta dgn org lain dlu [allan n rasulullah]. llki tu ckp, itu dlu, xpyhla, kuno,skg ni mna ada org bcnta lps kwen dh, xpyh ikut la zman nbi tu dlu -___- kiamat2

Anonymous 04/03/2011, 12:30  

aduh,pengsaannn juga...x tahu nak cakap aper? helo2, sedar ke tak org yg bercakap dlm artikel tuh...

uwaaaaaaaaaaa.........byk nyer yg kita kena buat...xleh malas2,xleh mengaduh2 banyak buat kerje, sebab mmg dah xde masa dah ni...

owh, duniaku yg kronik,silap dunia kita yg kronik...

dan mereka adalah mangsa keadaan..iye ke re?

Mohammad Aiman 04/03/2011, 13:05  

astaghfirullah... dulu pernah baca pasal berita nih, tapi x pernah baca full pulak.. ada sikit je.. ini full nih..

btw, x sempat nak abis baca.. sebab setiap kali baca, pengsan, xdapat2 nak abiskan... *sigh*

meowwmania 04/03/2011, 15:59  

dpt link ni dr seorg sahabat, terkesima bila baca! tak tahu nak ckp apa tak sangka perkara mcm ni ada berlaku, astagfirullah al-azim

Liyana 04/03/2011, 18:05  


dah sampai camni sekali fitnah dunia ni. sampai islam tu nampak macam benda main-main je.

astaghfirullah..tak sampai lagi SH kat seluruh lapisan umat. maknanya baaaaaaaaanyak sangat kerja yang kena buat lagi...

izin share post ini. terima kasih in advance.

p/s: berita ini betul2 ke atau orang reka2? (still macam tak percaya betul ke ini realiti umat sampai camni sekali pemikiran dia)

itachi 04/03/2011, 20:00  

pengsan byk kali.huhu
nau'zubillahimin zalik

SN 04/03/2011, 22:15  

pening kepala berdenyut-denyut slps pengsan banyak kali~~~

N 05/03/2011, 02:00  

nama pun human rights, ye dak?
*pengsan (tak tau bila bangun)*

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 09:55  

arissa myana: bilamana manusia menjadikan al-hawa sebagai panduan dan tujuan, maka kentut pon boleh jadi wangi..! erk.

*geleng kepala*

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 09:58  

cucu hj. hassan: uhm, itulah masalahnya bila org Islam sendiri rasakan islam tu kuno, tak kool dan tak best. padahal Islam adalah cara hidup yg palint tebabommm dan paling bergaya sekali...!

so tanggungjawab kitalah nak sedarkan org di sekeliling kita pasal fakta nih! ^^

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 09:59  

enonimus: btol btol btol. Kerja kita mmg byk dan kita tak cukup masa nak buat semua benda.

jadi apa lagi..??jom bekerja sesungguhnya dan buang segala tok nenek jahiliyyah yg ada pada kita dan masyarakat...! ;)

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:01  

aiman: hihihi.. kena baca sbb kalau tak kita tak tahu apa masalahnya dengan ummah ni.

kadang2 kita syok sendiri je, dalam kepompong kita, sbb tu kita tak nampak apa sebenarnya yg sdg berlaku di dalam masyarakat. hhmmm...

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:02  

meowwmania: terkesima je ke? tak pengsan sekali..? Hehehe..

byk benda kita boleh buat eceli. pertamanya, perbaiki diri kita dulu dan kemudiannya kita perbaiki org di sekeliling kita.

IAllah kalau semua2 pon ada kesedaran camni, mmg setel ah! ;)

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:04  

liyana: itulah yg sy cakap. kalau umat Islam sendiri konpius dan tak paham ttg Islam, apatah lagi masyarakat bukan Islam di luar sana.

mmg betul. byk sgt lagi kerja yg kita kena buat. tapi kena buatlah, kalau awal2 dah berputus-asa dan down, sampai bila pon tak akan jadi apa.

hahah.. mmg btol ni. kalau kt UK, benda ni dah mcm benda bese. ada seorang ahli parlimen tu, mengaku Islam dan mengaku gay pada masa yg sama. -___-"

mujurlah fitnah sebegitu tak sampai ke Malaysia lagi. tp tak bermakna Malaysia lebih baik...!

sila sila. moga bermanfaat biidznillah..

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:05  

itachi: terima kasih. kalau anda tak pengsan mmg ada sesuatu yg tak kena pada anda. hehehe..

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:06  

SN: hihih.. nnt bila dah ilang pening tu, kena mula bekerja dan buat sesuatu ye...? ;)

Inche gabbana 05/03/2011, 10:07  

N: human rights la sgt. huhuh.. human rigths tu pon manusia yang cipta yg didasari dgn al-hawa.

inilah akibatnya apabila manusia mentuhankan syaitan dan hawa nafsunya. nau'dzubillah..

payung kecil 05/03/2011, 15:56  

dunia zaman sekarang
moga kita x tergolong dlm golongan yang Nabi x mengaku umat ni (T.T)
terima kasih atas perkongsia Inche Gabbana
Jangan pernah terfikir untuk berhenti meulis ok :)

Anonymous 05/03/2011, 22:44  

kepala hotak die nikah!x memenuhi syarat pertama suami tu mesti lelaki.tolol!

Inche gabbana 06/03/2011, 23:45  

payung kecil: uish, kalau nabi tak ngaku umat, kita nak mintak tolong kat nabi mana kt padang mahsyar nnt..?? TT__TT Huhu..

IAllah. doakan agar saya terus kuat! jzkk!

Inche gabbana 06/03/2011, 23:46  

enonimus: huhuh.. marah marah jugak, bengang bengang jugak, tp kita kena buat sesuatu ntok ubah umat ni..! ;)

Anonymous 01/07/2014, 23:23  

bismillah. saya sedar ini artikel lama dan mungkin APG telah menjalani evolusi pemikiran sejak tarikh artikel ini. evolusi pemikiran bukan dalam menerima perkahwinan sama jantina, tetapi dalam kaedah mengulas tentangnya. Saya khuatir mereka yang mempunyai kecenderungan terhadap orang sama jantina, namun berusaha menjauhkan diri daripada perasaan itu, akan terasa disisihkan oleh masyarakat. Semakin jauh dari Islam kerana masyarakat terlalu pandang hina pada naluri itu. Mungkin approach boleh dilembutkan meski pendirian masih tegas. Jika ada artikel lain berkenaan cerita ini mohon dikongsi.

Untuk difikir-fikirkan IPG. Jazakallah.

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